The Summertime Blues

Was there a document that we signed as parents that informed our children that every day of summer was going to be a damn adventure? I blame capri sun commercials and Phineas and Ferb.
When my children are in school my life is scheduled like a busy OR. I have days that I do the grocery shopping and days that I do the laundry. I am able to fulfill all housewife affiliated duties without too much stress and/or interruptions. It's bliss. Then those dreaded months in the middle of the year roll around and screw it all up.
I'll admit it- mid-April I am 100% excited for summer. Either that or I am 100% done with "helping" my kids with school projects, spending my time organizing class parties or dealing with the barrage of bitching and fighting that happens every day at approximately 3pm. I start planning fun family outings, themed movie days, read-a-thons, etc. My Pinterest "Summer fun" board is full of outdoor games, lists of 101 almost free things to do this summer, recipes for shaved ice and other bullshit pins that I'm probably not going to bring to life. It's not because I'm a crappy mom or because I'm too cheap or lazy. This stuff most likely won't get done because my kids never want to do the same thing and I am too damn impatient to listen to 3 children fighting over who gets to fill up the water balloons or what flavor of jello to use for the jello shaved ice.
I have sweet kids...most of the time. They're respectful, responsible, well mannered and kind. However, they have very different personalities and as much as I would love to have a summer that reminds me of mine- the times have changed. In the late 80's and 90's I spent my summers with my best friends across the street. When we were bored we would ride bikes for hours, stick a sprinkler under a trampoline or play every board game in the cabinet. My memories of these days are good, they are warm and breezy and taste like root beer flavored Popsicles. In our neighborhood there aren't a ton of kids. My oldest child has friends around the corner and he is at the age where I feel ok with him riding down to his friends house. My two daughters aren't allowed to cruise the hood. Even though we live in a wonderful area with little to no crime, I've always lived with the theory that pedophiles and rapists are hiding in every bush waiting to snag my child. I also grew up in northern Utah where the normal summer high can be pretty warm but doesn't take your breathe away like it does here. I wouldn't let my dogs spend much time outdoors in this weather let alone my children. So what are we going to do to make fun summer memories?
The other day I tried out my read-a-thon idea. Nothing would've gone worse. They fought over spots to lay on, whether or not someone was reading out loud or making clicking noises. I ended it at 45 minutes and hid in my room until my husband got home...not the proudest moment.
I know that when they are older they'll remember the good stuff about summer in the way that I do. My mother was probably equally annoyed in 1991 listening to me whine about being bored. Hopefully they'll remember the living room camp outs with their buddies and the 900 pool days at their Nana's. They might smile when telling their kids about the camping trips in our new RV and all the random little weekend trips. I just wish they'd see those things now so I wouldn't have to feel guilty every time I finally get to the piles of laundry.
I think We Moms and Dads should do 2 things: Loosen up about all the daily stuff that isn't getting done this summer and to tell our slightly entitled kids to chill the hell out. We can't all give our kids the summers they see on the Disney channel. Some parents work, some don't have the funds for limitless entertainment and some of us do not have the personalities that are required for daily crafts and themed meals (however I suspect most of it is completely made up on Facebook to make their former high school classmates forget what evil bitches they were). Summer is only half over and I'm going to start implementing the changes tomorrow. When my kids come to me and ask what the plan is for the day and give an irritated sigh when you say "Sorry kiddo, someone has to keep you in clean undies"- just hand them a book or a laundry basket full of clothes that need folding. Summer should be for everyone to relax, not just the kids.

If you need help...enjoy this suggestion I found on iMom.com

My take on this Hobby Lobby business

*Joy and Steve Warning. Your baby girl is about to discuss where your grandkids didn't come from.*

I love birth control. I love it even more since ol' Scott got fixed (my days of freaking out over a missed pill are over). Birth control is something that will be continuously debated until they find a way to please everyone. Since that's never going to happen, I'm going to toss my 2 cents into the giant opinion fountain and pray that I don't lose the new followers I fought so hard to procure. 

I am a Christian, Wife, Mother and Libertarian. I believe that we are on this earth to make OUR own choices. If your desire is same sex marriage, smoking copious amounts of weed, worshiping in your church, giving money to the homeless, having 20 kids,  shooting heroin into your eyeball or have your 8th abortion go for it; just avoid making it my problem. 

Hobby Lobby is this ginormous craft and decor store equivalent to Michaels on Lance Armstrong type steroids. I personally don't shop there. It isn't in my desired area of town and it's too big for me. However, many of my friends love that place because in its 8 million sq feet you can find literally anything (including supplies to make your own crafty IUD). The problem with Hobby Lobby -or "HL" as I'm going to call it- is that they are a Christian company and do not want to cover the birth control for their employees that Obamacare includes. My first reaction was to roll my eyes and say "Why wouldn't they want to prevent people procreating?" Hell,  90% of my month is wishing there weren't so many people in line at Target so why not help control the population? Well I had to go back to my fundamental beliefs- HL is privately owned cooperation and they have the right to determine what they will give their employees and what they won't. I came to this conclusion after a long discussion with my husband (a small business owner) in regards to fair business practices and employee rights. 

I've read the bible. I was 15 and bored as hell. It was sitting there, dusty and unopened so I decided to start on the first page and read it like I read my Stephen King novels. Some of it was great, some boring, some down right dirty (Song of Solomon). I built my own faith having only gone to a church with my grandma as a child. Even with my strong love of Christ and desire to live for Him, I still screw up daily. I swear like a trucker, get angry in 2 seconds flat, flip off my fellow drivers, damn am I judgmental and I did not wait until marriage to have sex. 

My experiences with birth control began in a cold room at the local Planned Parenthood in St. George, Utah. I had a long term boyfriend to whom I decided was "the one" (he wasn't) and because responsibility has always been my middle name, I put my legs in the uncomfortable stir ups and slid my butt to the edge of the table for my first pelvic exam. It was like being assaulted. It hurt and I cried. My friend Cassie had gone with me and half way through the exam I had wished that I had drug her ass in the exam room to hold my hand. When it was over I received a brown paper bag full of condoms and pills. I took my pill at the same time every day and waited the required 30 days and one full cycle before actual sex could occur. That boyfriend and I lasted another year before finally realizing that we were not going to get married. We both quickly moved on. He got a girl pregnant early in their relationship (bet he wished she was as responsible as moi) and I met the love of my life, Scott. I will not go into details but Scott and I lived together as a married couple long before our June 2002 wedding and needless to say I stayed on that pill. The reason I tell you this story is to inform the masses that Christian girls have been known to need birth control. I'm thankful every day that my ex and I didn't make a child. He has a happy family and my life is teetering on perfect. 

I wish that HL would allow their employees the full benefits, but it's their business. The moment we allow the government to dictate how we run our lives and business we might as well flush freedom down the toilet. These last few years have been exciting for some. The rights of our gay community to marry has been important to so many. So why do we fight for same sex marriage and then tell a privately owned corp that they cannot refuse birth control. If one doesn't agree with this than they can apply at one of Hobby Lobby's competitors. This same argument goes to my fellow Christians. Why are your rights so superior to your neighbor? Christ taught us to love not judge. Your right to refuse birth control is exactly the same as anothers right to marry. YOUR RIGHT.  I would never go into a Jewish owned deli and demand a non- Kosher hot dog, but I imagine that there is some 300 lb, sweaty jerk that is damned if someone is going to refuse his right to a sausage made of lips and assholes. Would you boycott that deli? 

Last year Chic fil A was in hot water over their support of prop 8. As a supporter of gay marriage I cringed a little over their politics. However, their chicken is the most delicious form of fast food on Gods beautiful Earth so I swallow my disappointment with a honey mustard chaser and move on. Why? Because it's none of my business what another business does with their money or time if in their eyes they are protecting their religious freedoms. 

*Obviously my Libertarian beliefs wouldn't allow for murder or physical harm on a person for religious reasons so quit typing your snippy response.*

Hobby Lobby and Chic Fil A have put themselves into a precarious position, but that is their right. Boycott if you must but also calm the f%$k down. Our local Michaels is right down the street and you can easily shop there without insulting your Facebook friends. Our bodies, our businesses, our religion, and our marriages are just that...OURS. We need to begin taking back our rights to say no to what we don't want to participate in. That's freedom. 

In conclusion I would like to point out that a 60 count variety pack of Durex condoms cost $20 bucks on amazon.com and Crocs cost $35. No one is stopping you from ordering those.