What I've been doing while ignoring my blog

Ok, as you all well know, I suck at blogging. I'm never going to be consistent and that is something I am comfortable with. However, I decided to fill everyone in on what I've been doing while I'm ignoring Accidental Housewife.

1. LOTS OF WINE

My husband and I are wine snobs. We love the sip of a great Rose next to a pool or a first taste of a wineries estate grapes. Totally in love with the rolling hills of the Central California Coast, we decided to park our trusty Kodiak at a beautifully kept RV park in Paso Robles. Paso is my perfect town. It's small enough to not be too infested with crime and pollution, yet big enough to not have the grocery check out girl know your shoe size. I love it. Perfect weather, perfect location, perfect. Eventually we'd love to move there and buy decent sized property; until then we decided to pretend for a month and it was glorious. I'm fatter, tanner and definitely happier.


2. I HAD A MINOR HEALTH SET BACK

With my flare for the dramatic, I nearly ripped the door off my husbands car after he told me "no" once. I know that sounds insane but I can explain. After a year of intense mood swings (that we started tracking) I was left with 2 options: Option A) divorce my husband, open a cat sanctuary in my back yard, die alone, be eaten by my cats...or- Option B) figure out what the hell was wrong with me.

Obviously the cat thing would have only worked out if I didn't have family and friends that would check me into a hospital Britney Spears style and I prefer to be cremated over becoming a cat buffet, so I went with Option B.
My 30 years of Hypochondria had given me the proper tools to research the possible horrifying reasons that my personality had changed so much in one year. I narrowed it down to early menopause or PMDD. After further research it became quite clear to me that based on the timing of my outbursts it was Pre Menstrual Dysmorphic Disorder. When I figure out how to control these severe symptoms, I will most likely post them here to help with other women fighting this severe form of PMS. I refuse to be labelled a hysterical woman.
The good news is I found a great therapist.

3. I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO WRITE A BOOK

Thats basically all I'll say about that right now because of my superstitious brain.

4. OH YEAH, I HAVE CHILDREN AND A HUSBAND

No, my near homicide on his beloved Audi did not cause my husband to pack his bags. We are both far too invested and far too lazy to ever get divorced. Plus, he and I now understand that it wasn't my fault and there is something to be said in giving your spouse grace and acceptance. So, until that dreaded week of the month (ironically the week before my least favorite Aunt comes to town) returns to make a play for it's Oscar...we know we need to build our home so strong that even the big bad wolf of PMDD can't blow it down.

My kids are only vaguely aware of what has been going on, but I've been fairly honest. They keep me busy enough to not dwell on the drama of PMDD.

5. I'LL NEVER BE DOOGIE

Remember the time when Neil Patrick Harris was a teen doctor? I do. I had the biggest crush on him and loved that he stopped at the end of each show to type his diary into his now-antique computer. That show made me want to keep a diary; my over-active brain prevented me from doing that. I'm easily sidetracked so I know this blog will never be consistent and that is totally ok.

So, here are my list of excuses.
I swear they're true.
Sarah

Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks...

Jesus love you. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

*A lesson to all idiots. Not just the ones that run Indiana. 

I remember seeing the phrase above on a bumper sticker about 10 years ago. I remember thinking “Thank God, He does” and chuckling to myself about how many people probably think I’m an asshole. Why? Because I can be a very judgmental person and that character trait has done as much good as it has harm. 

For today, I will use it to explain to everyone in America how to Calm. The. Fudge . Down. These are things I’ve learned while watching and judging for the last 33-ish years.

1. Some people are BORN gay. This doesn’t make you gay. They are gay. Got it? Great let’s move on.
2. There are many religions. In the spirit of being different and unique- people can be Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Wiccan, Jewish etc etc etc. People even have the right to not believe in anything.
3. We are placed on this Earth without written assignments. Whether or not we become dicks is usually determined by what parents we get stuck (or blessed) with. 
4. In order to make our country free (I’m not naive enough to believe it already is) we must allow our people feel free. The law in Indiana makes people uncomfortable because it gives people the freedom to exercise their asshole ways while using the religious excuse. 
5. Religious texts are often misinterpreted. I can assure you, the majority of the most despicable members of the “religious right” completely missed the Bible’s point. 
6. People have the RIGHT to disagree. That is NEVER EVER EVER going to change.

This is a Civil Rights discussion. The problem is that everyone has civil rights. Yes, even them. So, lets look at the Indiana drama as a blessing dressed in ragged overalls and a toothless grin (this is how I picture all bigots). If anyone actually utilizes their right to discriminate then it is our job as non-idiots to stop frequenting their place of business.  Before the law, the people of Indiana had no idea what kind of place they had been giving their hard earned money. I’m sure dozens of former Memories Pizza customers spent a good 1/2 hour trying to scrub the taste of bigot-pizza out of their mouths. Beautiful pizzas constructed with ignorant hands, the horror. 

We tell kids to follow the golden rule and treat others how you’d like to be treated. Have we ever told ourselves the same thing?  Treat assholes with kindness. Don’t eat at their establishments, don’t shop at their stores, don’t have Bob the Bigoted Barber cut your hair. Or do all of those things, I don’t care. If we exercise our right to discriminate against idiots and assholes then we will eventually weed out the herd and make things right. 

The biggest waste of time is spent forcing others to be like you. Life would be awesome if we started compromising instead of bullying. As Americans, we are taught that compromising is weak and we should never settle for any less than our way. Well, when you have millions of people being taught that it’s their way or the highway a compromise is down right brave. Start opening your minds, truly accept your neighbor and be willing to work together……..

Sorry, I just caught myself trying to try. 

I guess I’ll go back to secretly judging others. Watching this country go down the tube. 

Jesus may love everyone and I'm always trying. However, just because I love my neighbor doesn't mean I have to love their actions. I'll never love bigotry.