Homework Is BS

Homework is bullshit.

No, I'm not a 15 year old with tons of algebra and history to finish before I can jet out to the mall with my friends. I'm speaking as a 33 year old mother of 3.  I have 2 kids in grade school and they both have an average of 2 hours of homework a day. Add that to their preferred extra curricular or our family routine and they are left with no time to be actual children. My complete disgust with our education system grows every year, but due to the fact that there is no amount of alcohol on Earth that will make me patient enough to teach them myself...homeschooling is out of the question.

I like the idea of necessary homework. Practicing spelling words or a few math facts. I do not understand why my daughter needs to learn fresh concepts with me at the helm. I'm not qualified to teach math to anyone. I was once the dumbass senior in the freshman algebra class in High School. During the first week of 3rd grade my daughter came home with division problems. That would be fine except she hadn't learned how to even multiply yet and when school closed in May she was still on subtraction. So was I to understand that I could now add math teacher to the list of crap I do all day? 

More and more of my friends are starting to home school. When I was a kid the only kids that were home schooled were members of creepy religious cults. Now-a-days every other mom on Facebook is sharing her first day pictures of well rested kids in their pajamas doing science projects over breakfast. I wish I was capable of being that mom. I selfishly love my quiet days to myself when my darling angels are someone elses problem for 7 hours. I clean the house, lunch with friends, go to Target without having one argument regarding why I am not buying cheese puffs or another barbie.  I feel like I've put in the time, suffered the loss of my abs and the luxury of privacy and in return I'm given those days to myself.  I'm also a terrible teacher. Within moments of attempting to explain the concept of division to my 8 year old, I'm just doing it for her. Sure she writes it down but I'm the one counting the numbers and guiding her to the answer (guiding is a nice way of saying giving). She's tired of learning by 3pm. She's been doing it all damn day and wants her break. By the time we finish our first hour of semi-attentive learning she completely gives up. Tears begin to flow, her teacher's name is cursed and her older brother is now in the room telling her to shut up so he can concentrate. It isn't a pleasant experience for anyone involved. After we finish math, we move on to her spelling word practice, timed math facts, reading and reading log questions. Sometimes she brings home a school book and gets to re-read a story THAT THEY ALREADY READ IN CLASS THAT  VERY SAME DAY to me. Because everyone knows, parents love stories about fluffy bunnies cooking a stew that your child already knows the ending of and therefore is completely exasperated with the idea of re-living it. During the year they sprinkle in projects that are a complete waste of everyones time, not to mention the new common core curriculum that has made school work even more tedious.  "Solve the math problem, then write a paragraph on why you used that method"...REALLY? After 6 years on this side of the homework battle I'm ready to throw in the towel. 

No one is prepping for college in 3rd grade (my thoughts on college are for a complete other blog  post). My daughter doesn't know what she wants for an after school snack let alone have her adult life planned out. Elementary school is meant for learning basic knowledge and social skills. After school hours should be fun. Playing with friends, baking cookies, sports, actually reading for pleasure etc. 

Those things should be just as important as learning how to divide apples amongst a hypothetical group of friends.

America is not the educated super power of the day. Obviously our system isn't working. Instead of having quality learning and proper time management during school hours, we under pay teachers and force kids to spend time coloring the apples that they are supposed to be multiplying. Extra work is pushed off for the parents to handle and every year it gets worse. Kids come home from a long day at school and are forced into busy schedules at home. Rushing through homework isn't always an option so family time is put on the burner. When our kids can't focus with the ridiculous amount of pressure placed on them we pump them full of medications. We lose time for a proper family meal and toss frozen corn dogs or fast food junk at them in between different activities. Our kids are becoming fat little sociopaths. 

Since I can't fix the world (no one will let me, I keep offering) I've decided to pick one battle at a time. We parents have to possess some type of power. Our tax dollars pay for the education system...right? An anti-homework revolution needs to happen before our kids are clinging from a clock tower shouting obscenities at strangers after they finally snap. Who is with me? Or do you enjoy finding the answer to "How many of Pablo's friends got green apples and how many got red"? 

I already went to school. I'm too old to re-live 3rd grade.
Plus...calculators are awesome.